title of this makes no sense if you've never heard this Blondie song that regina kept playing when she was here and not in Michigan:
"I know a girl from a lonely street
Cold as ice cream but still as sweet"
anyhow, this is something I'm writing at the end of this post, because usually, title goes last and when I can't think of anything, we'll... let's just say most of my titles are non-sequitur, or at least I think, but listen to this song, the melody is my mood right now, ...
this is going to be long. (yes, that's what she said, i know i know)
bear with me.
my dog is asleep on the corner of the bed, tv is on although I'm not really watching, I just like hearing it on, really..., dim light is still on and I'm way too lazy at this moment to turn it off, although I actually feel like I need it to be off in order to write tonight,..
ok, I'm turning it off.
ok.
getting up, one sec.
ok, woke up the dog, awesome, but lights are off and my eytes are adjhusting.
since I've last posted, I've had pockets of wanting to post but then realized that there was too much to write or I'd end up asking if it was worth it and then would end up sleeping or reading until my eyeballs got overweight with sleepy.
things that happened in haiku form:
went to VMA
demystified hollywood
everyone is short
so, I know it happened last week and I'm late in recapping it with pics and captions, but it was a really good experience. I enjoyed my company, I went with lovely ladies and thanks to corinny poo and her generosity I got a completely different experience being there than I would have watching it on tv... everything I ever learned as a communications major was applied in one night. amazing... I think I'll do a breakdown of it one of these nights complete with citations and namedrops.
Also, I think a good chunk of the people I know are born around this time... what is it about virgos that are so attractive to Libras? maybe its not that, maybe virgos find each other and in effect one virgo friend means ALL virgo friends? no? maybe? yea, probably not.
So yes, those birthday celebrations have made for interesting weekends.
i think that's enough of a "kind of" update, yea? Have I bored you to tears yet?
So, on to the pressing details, the silly thoughts and the nifty observations i've saved in my pocket for you. please read them with the context of a girl who can't sleep and finally got a chance to put some thoughts into the interweb to the 4 people that read this (I thank you for humoring me).
- Why do people think that by lying to you they're somehow protecting you? maybe they're just protecting themselves because maybe it's who they are makes you unhappy? yea, that doesn't make sense to me either... hehe
- I want to feel healthy again. I want to feel like my body isn't shocked when I decide to go for a walk. I used to walk everywhere. sure, it was because i didn't have a car, but I think I need more movement in my day, and not just from my desk to the printer, or my desk to the kitchen to eat a banana and then negate that with a cup of coffee that contains 500 crates of sugar.
- I'm going to go back and link things to this post... later though.
- the mere mention of the Jonas Brothers makes me feel 5,389 years old.
- I'm not that old, but let's face it, I'll never be that young again ever. I'm not sure what that means exactly, but I think it has to do with me leaning towards having to make decisions I don't feel I am capable of making or wanting to make.
- sometimes all I want to do is sit in my car and listen to this american life.
- I don't know if you can outright hate hipsters. It's hard to classify a sub culture that denies its own existence, is all. I'd wholeheartedly be one if I knew exactly what that meant, and if it means what the stereotypes says it means, then I can't... I'd want to tho, it seems like a hoot. knowing all forms of pop culture, having time to keep up with the ironic, looking good in your hood(ie) and having cute bangs and reckless abandon for the consequences that daylight brings about. Are these hipster things?
Well, I think about it and I'm probably not cut out for it.
I'd need a somewhat reasonable disposable income and I'm not really photogenic when it comes to candids, I'm too silly and embarrassed and end up doing a stupid silly smushed up kissy face or something... and then there's the issue of my viet parents guilting me to holding tight to my inhibitions and the like... not exactly bohemian of me to say something like, "YEA, hells yes, let's down this 40 and then visit the everglades and listen to Sonic Youth with the crocs, or are they alligators, wait, let me call my parents and tell them I'll be home at 3am, we'll be back by then right? cause I have work tmrw, I made this bombass powerpoint and wait, ... are those drugs?!?"
wow, the above just catapulted me to "jackass" level didn't it? I hope you know that at least 1/3rds of me is kidding.
truthbomb moment: I can't do it because I live two lives at once already and in two different places. it's tiring, and I really can't add another level to it. I admire those that have just one life to live and are able to live it for themselves. that must feel really good when you're young ... coming of age and living as two people is confusing as all hell, to be honest.
- I HELLA love my dog, like.. HELLA. he is a big mass of anti-depressant.
- I would judge myself if I read this post too. Nowadays whenever I write something I imagine it typed out on a FOX NEWS screen and then read by Hannity! Then I flip it and then imagine Jon Stewart quoting it, and then I realize... There's a good chance that anything you ever say or write can be made out to make you sound like an absolute ass. so I give up, what if I told you right off the bat that I'm no more an insightful witty fool than you are but I'm trying to at least think about our collective experience as people. Would you respect that statement? sounds too corny, right? Yea, you're right...
- Rhianna is tall and looks like a ... giraffe, really. I think her and Chrissy Igor Brown is a ruse. A RUSE! and I want to be BFF with Joel from 'the Soup.' It'd break my heart to find out he wasn't funny or sweet as sugar.
- I'm feeling more disconnected than usual from myself.
- Not Palin. please. everything that has to do with her makes me cringe because it reminds me of how much harder I need to work for someone to take me seriously, not only as a woman, but just as someone who really wants to trust in those that are in control of my fate but can't because they don't deserve it. they don't deserve it. if the only power they have is the one we choose to give them then am I to blame for my own frustration?
- I think I'm ready to try and move on and not just say it to persuade myself... that's a step right?
- it's getting late, I should sleep.
yours,
me
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2 comments:
i listened to the jonas brothers for the first time last week.
it sounds like kidz bop.
A few things. I copied and pasted most of your post so I can post about each segment. This was done largely because I was bored, but also because I care:
I like that I happen to be one of those four people.
I really do feel like Patrick Swayze's character in Donnie Darko when I say this but... people lie in the name of self-preservation. To themselves, to each other, to you, it's all for the same reasons in the end, isn't it?
I always thought it was endearing that sugar was to you as crack was to a low-income, minority family.
Getting old... yeah, you pretty much summed it up. For me, anyway.
Hipsters? The short version to my refusal or my ill-fit with their crowd I usually relate to people is that it costs too much (money, of course, but effort as well. Conundrum in the hipster crowd: effort to seem effortless?) But, yet again, you pretty much pegged everything I had to say on the subject. Living dual realities is definitely draining... I know about that very well, but at a different angle I suppose.
I remember when my dog was my anti-depressant. Now she just reminds me of me.
I wont judge you. Mainly because I try to do the same thing. And, being the selfish and therefore complete human being that I am, it would be against my best interests to judge you.
... Rhianna = Giraffe... confused feelings about giraffes...
Disconnection from oneself allows for true self-analysis. And, being the emo-Keatsian man that I am, I say embrace that shit, yo.
I think Palin is a hotty. Got that hot librarian/ Liz Lemon thing goin. Probably why they chose her, and, consequently, why you cringe at the thought of her.
It's one small step for a woman, one... even smaller step for a woman in the grand scheme of things. But it's a shitton better than what 99 percent of us do.
Sincerely hoping you didn't read all of this,
me
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